Friday, February 20, 2015

More 10th Grade Writing Projects: Karneval and Adventskalender

#1  This project seems less successful than the previous post, as it was factual only, and not particularly stylized, to keep a reader already familiar with the material engaged. Your impressions? -- rsb

Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 12:27 AM         

Carnival

OK, for some reason you are staying in Germany and there is a big parade. Do not be shocked, because it is normal in this time. It is Carnival!
Carnival is a big event in Germany and the main events are usually during February. But the whole Carnival or "Fasching" season oficially begins in November, the year before the lent season starts and culminiates in the Rosenmontag parade. This time is also called Fastnacht, Fasching, Fastelovend or the Fifth Season.
But the most important thing is: you need a costume! Maybe a cowboy costume, an Indian costume or other costumes. Many costumes are very beautiful but also expensive. So, sometimes you need money.
There are lots of parties with self-made and more crazy costumes. The people celebrate at a party, at home with friends or even in the street. The most important place to celebrate in Düren is the Kaiserplatz. The crowd of people celebrates the whole day, listens to music and drinks alcohol.
The "Rheinischer" Carnival is celebrated in the West of Germany. Some cities are more famous for celebrations, such as parades and costume balls. Cologne Carnival as well as Düsseldorf are the largest and most famous
Lisa K, Lisa R, Nicolas, Moritz, Luca, Niklas


Re: Carnival  by Chan B - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:18 AM
You explained the tradition of Carnival very well, but we miss the irony. The text is well structured and the lenght is also ok and it refers to Düren. You repeat often the word "costume" to underline the importance. But we do not find any other stylistic devices.

Re: Carnival  by Luca M - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:24 AM     Thanks for your reply

Re: Carnival  by Eva M - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:31 AM
You had a lot of Information in your text and you gave a lot if ideas to celebrate Carnival, but you have  lots of repititions, for example "costume".
You named the first place in Düren to celebrate, that's a good idea, because a lot of pupils from our School, are going there too. That means, there are People you already know.

#2   "Our" Luca seems to be defining his role as critique.  Do you find his hand a bit heavy?  Is he being appropriate? --rsb

Tuesday, 3 February 2015, 11:31 PM

Adventskalender

An “Adventskalender“ is a calender which you use in december in each year. It has 24 little doors. You open one door each day and you start on the first of December.

Usually there are sweets behind the doors, so you have one more reason to get fat in Christmas time.
It is also a good reason to get up in the morning before school.

If you do not know the date, it is hard to remember which door you are allowed to open next.
If you have a calender with a picture on it and you open a door, you are happy to see your chocolate, but it may happen that you hear a sound like “crrr“.

And if you hear this sound you know that you just broke that door and maybe more.
So you have to choose on 30th November, if you want chocolate or have a nice Christmas picture.
Eva Maintz & Katja Nagatz

Re: Adventskalender  by Jana O - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:14 AM
Nice text and it gave us much informations but I think that it is also important to know where the idea comes from.
Re: Adventskalender
  by Luca M - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:29 AM
"informations" without "s" in plural Jana O!!!
Re: Adventskalender by lisa r - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:28 AM
Your text is understandable and there are much information. There are stylistic devices like anaphora. You also used adjectives. The text is not too short.
Well done :-)
Re: Adventskalender   by Luca Meier - Wednesday, 4 February 2015, 8:33 AM
We think that the text have a good length and explain what an "Adventskalender" is.
You don't use many stylistic devices, only an anaphora in lines 4,5,6.
We also don't know the sound "crrr"?!

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