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12 Predictions for the Year 2000 from a 19th-Century German Chocolate Company

Hannah Keyser

filed under: History

Image credit: 

Wikimedia Commons

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Right around the same time that French postcards were predicting lots of aerial and aquatic activities in the year 2000 as part of the 1900 Paris World's Fair, a German chocolate company decided to get in on the future-telling business with a crafty marketing campaign. For a short time, Theodore Hildebrand and Son chocolate company slipped colorful cards depicting theoretical life in the year 2000 into boxes of their sweets. Altogether, 12 such cards were produced, predicting how a range of activities would get upgraded for the 21st Century.

1. Police with X-Ray

It's unclear from the picture how an x-ray camera of sorts would factor into crime-fighting. With both the legal and moral high ground, couldn't the police apprehend the criminals face-to-face? Weigh in below if you can make sense of it.

2. Flying Machines

What's a vision of the future without some personal flying machines? This card features several different options that all look heinously unsafe. Is that little girl even wearing a seat belt?!

3. Movable Houses

Alright, this one is just all wrong. They're still using horse-drawn buggies and steam engines, having focused all the attention and effort of their technological advancements on building portable rowhouses.

4. Airships

More air travel. And fashion stuck in the 1800s.

5. Undersea Ships

Perhaps even more tantalizing than the leisure submarine patrolling the ocean floor are the sea bike, sea surrey, and sea wheeled-recliner above.

6. North Pole Trip

It's true that air travel has made vacationing in remote locations possible and even popular. But I haven't noticed a lot of hot air balloon jaunts to the North Pole showing up on hip destination lists.

7. Water Walk

The genius here isn't the water-wheel unicycle or the shoe-canoes—it's the artistic, elegant, and tech-free individual hot air balloons that keep water-waders upright. Even the horse has one!

8. Ship Railway

So many questions. How is this better than a normal ship? Is it limited to shallow waters? WHY IS IT ON FIRE?!

9. Roofed City

This one seems like a great idea until you remember things like, you know, drought.

10. Theater

Things happening in one place will be able to be captured and viewed in an entirely different location in real time? Yup.

11. Moving Sidewalks

Scattered throughout the airport, these human conveyor belts are a delightful respite that make you feel like you have super-speed compared to the people on still ground. But in crowded cities? Now that just sounds dangerous.

12. Good Weather Machine

Yes. Get on this, scientists.
All images via Wikimedia Commons.

Ohrbooten singen um die Umwelt Keine Panik

  

Keine Panik Songtext

- Es war mal ein Patient, der hatte 'ne Beschwerde                               (complaint) 

  Name: "Planet."
- Nachname: "Erde."
- Er lebte dekadent, sein Lifestyle war voll derbe.                           (dense; compact)
  Und eines Tages musste er deswegen zum Experten.                             (therefore)
"Herr Doktor ich habe da ein Problem
  Ich glaube, ich habe 'nen Mensch!  Können Sie mal bitte nachsehen?
  Ich weiß ja das die eigentlich von alleine weggehen,
  Doch meiner ist so lange da, dass finde ich voll extrem.
  Vom Nord- bis zum Südpol, in all meinen Gebieten             (das Gebiet,-en = region)
  Sind sie unterwegs, diese fiesen Parasiten."                                           (fies = nasty)

-- Keine Panik, wir machen Sie gesund.
   Legen Sie sich hin, halten Sie den Mund!
   Wir haben für jeden Infekt das perfekte Rezept.
   Für jeden Infarkt ein Präparat am Start.        (d   

   Keine Panik, wir biegen Sie schon gerade [uooohooo]

--Da wollen wir doch mal gucken, die Haut ist süßlich trocken,
Erdbeben zucken, Eiterpickel oder Pocken,
Ölpesten jucken, und der Hals ist voller Brocken.
Waldausfall wie Schuppen aufgrund der "Homo Sapiens"- Kocken!
"Was voll schlimm ist, ich muss andauernd reihern
Ich habe Dünnschiss, und der stinkt nach faulen Eiern.                                    (the runs)
Ich hab 'ne Allergie da, Treibhauseffekt-Fieber,                                    (greehouse effect)
Atomreaktor-Tumor, und das erhöht mein Klima.
Also bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte Doktor im weißen Kittel--
Bevor ich abnippel' gib mir lieber ein Mittel!"                     (abnippeln ~ to kick the bucket)

-- Keine Panik, wir machen Sie gesund
   Legen Sie sich hin, halten Sie den Mund!
   Wir haben für jeden Infekt das perfekte Rezept.
   Für jeden Infarkt 'n Präparat am Start.                                             (compound/treatment)
   Keine Panik, wir  biegen Sie schon gerade [uooohooo]                                     (to bend)

  Keine Panik, wir biegen Sie schon gerade [uooohooo]
                                                                                                        (los werden = to get rid of)
"Ich habe schon soviel probiert, um die Viecher los zu werden.        (das Viech,-er  critter)
  Mich mit Seuchen-Creme beschmiert, doch nichts lindert die Beschwerden.
  Ich habe Giftgas inhaliert, habe mich Chemo therapiert, 

  Katastrophen inszeniert,                                                                                      (to stage)
  Und bin immer noch infiziert."                                                       (infected / contaminated)
- Hatten Sie politische Antibiotika?
"In mundgerechten Häppchen:                                                          (in bite-sized morsels)
- Religiöse Psychopharmaka?"
"Ach, tausendmal als Zäpfchen."                                                                   (suppository)
- Korrosions-Profilaxe in Form von Angst und Waffen.
  Mit 'ner fetten Dosis Größenwahn, und lass sie einfach machen!  (delusions of grandeur)
"Ach, das ist doch alles viel zu soft, weil das alles nicht geklappt hat.
  Ich brauche härteren Stoff, der die Menschheit endlich platt macht."        (to bankrupt)
- Immer mit der Ruhe, ist doch alles kein Problem.
  Ich gehe mal kurz zum Schränkchen, da wollen wir doch mal sehen.
  Nehmen Sie eins, zwei Tabletten, oder gleich die Dreierkombi:
  Atombomben, Invasion vom Mars und fleischfressende Zombies!

-- Keine Panik, wir machen Sie gesund
   Legen Sie sich hin, halten Sie den Mund
   Wir haben für jeden Infekt das perfekte Rezept
   Keine Panik, wir biegen Sie schon gerade [uooohooo]
   Solange wie Sie gut versichert sind
   Und immer schön zahlen,
   Vertrauen Sie uns blind.

Neue Filme aus Deutshland

From the Zeitgeist NW Film Festival come these films, among others.  
      --   Does any seem worth investing in (for instance, to show at German Club)?


BAIKONUR     KAZAKHSTAN/GERMANY/RUSSIA 2011     DIRECTOR: VEIT HELMER

This charming, funny, and visually resplendent romantic comedy by one of Germany’s most inventive young directors uses as its guiding principle an old Kazakh proverb that says: “Whatever falls from heaven, you may keep.” For the inhabitants of a small Kazakh village, especially the youthful Iskander, living just downwind from the Baikonur Cosmodrome means that what “falls from heaven” is actually valuable space debris from the Russian rockets launched there. Nicknamed “Gagarin” after the Soviet space pioneer, Iskander uses his radio expertise to follow launches and calculate where to find the cast-off space metals that provide his village with its livelihood. After seeing a photo of the young Frenchwoman Julie, due to become the latest space tourist, he is smitten. When something goes wrong and Julie plunges to earth in a capsule, Iskander is there to rescue her before the authorities do.  And she has amnesia… (95 mins.) In Russian, French, and English.

TRAILER:



TOM SAWYER    GERMANY 2011     DIRECTOR: HERMINE HUNTGEBURTH

Mark Twain’s timeless adventure tale of two boys, Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, in conflict with the adult world is given a faithful, refreshing revitalization. Filmed in Germany and Romania, young actors Louis Hofmann and Leon Seidel put a delightful spin on this distinctively German vision of a classic American story. Nominated for a German Film Award for Best Children’s Film. “Outstanding cast, funny and dynamic.”—Cinema. (110 mins.)
                                 Recommended for ages 8 and up.
 TRAILER:



LESSONS OF A DREAM    Der ganz grosse Traum  GERMANY 2011   DIRECTOR: SEBASTIAN GROBLER
A very traditional German school in 1874 decides to employ a new teacher of English in order to ensure that some fresh ideas about culture and life are imparted to the students. The teacher, played by Daniel Brühl, turns out to be more radical than envisioned by the principal (played by Burghart Klaussner), as he teaches English culture by getting them all to play football. In turn, despite the excitement experienced by the students, the parents and local community are not so impressed. Reminiscent of the film Dead Poets Society, this stirring historical drama about the impact a teacher can have on students is a compelling story with some notable messages about tradition and change. Nominated for three German Film Awards. (113 mins.) Recommended for ages 10 and up.

TRAILER:



THREE QUARTER MOON     Dreiviertelmond  GERMANY 2011  DIRECTOR: CHRISTIAN ZÜBERT

Grumpy taxi driver Hartmut Mackowiak is crushed by the news that his wife of 30 years is leaving him. He is forced to reorganize his life, becoming even more of a loner. That is, until the day he has the six-year-old Hayat and her mother as passengers in his taxi. This is the beginning of a series of events that leave him looking after Hayat, who, unable to speak any German, is now looking for her mother who has apparently disappeared. Inevitably, Hartmut initially resists helping her, but Hayat’s stubbornness leaves him no   alternative but to assist in her search. Little does he realize that perhaps he is on the way to learning to love life. An endearing, feel-good comedy-drama, THREE QUARTER MOON proves, without moralizing or sentimentality, that change is possible no matter what phase of life one is in. (91 mins.)

TRAILER:




SUMMER WINDOW    Das Fenster zum Sommer  GERMANY 2011  DIRECTOR: HENDRIK HANDLOEGTEN

What would you do if you had the chance to relive part of your life? That is the premise of this intriguing mystery drama starring Nina Hoss as a woman who experiences something very unusual. While traveling with her partner in Finland, Juliane awakens one morning to find herself back in Berlin. She has traveled back six months in time and experiences again the events leading up to a tragic situation and a major change in her life. A film that keeps you guessing as it twists and turns to a startling conclusion. (96 mins.)

WATCH THE TRAILER HERE


 BARBARA          GERMANY 2012         DIRECTOR: CHRISTIAN PETZOLD

 East Germany, 1980: A doctor is exiled to a country hospital as punishment for applying for an exit visa. As her lover from the West carefully plots her escape, Barbara (Nina Hoss) waits patiently and avoids friendships. She works as a pediatric surgeon under her new boss André, and while she is caring towards her patients—a young girl in particular—Barbara keeps a distance from her colleagues. She is constantly monitored by the state’s security apparatus and is the subject of repeated humiliations. Barbara looks forward to her future and to her freedom, but André and a traumatized young patient slowly chip away at her defenses, and she starts to lose control. A subtle and precise look at the complex personal costs of life in a paranoid and repressive state. Winner of the Best Director Award at the Berlin Film Festival and recipient of seven German Film Award nominations. (105 mins.)

TRAILER:  Spielt noch nicht....